How a Proper View of Psalm 139 Can Impact Your Marriage

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“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

Recently, I was speaking with a mentor of mine. She walked through Psalm 139 with me. We are told in Psalm 139:13-16 that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. If you struggle with any self-doubt or negative feelings concerning yourself, Psalm 139:13-16 can help alleviate these painful feelings.

We need to reflect on what God says about us. This goes further than just our relationship with ourselves. Psalm 139:13-16 can also refer to marriage. If we don't have a proper view of ourselves within our daily lives, we will not have a positive view of ourselves in marriage.

As it is with all of God’s Word, it can be life-changing if we apply it correctly. This is certainly true of Psalm 139:13-16 and its relation to marriage. Even though Psalm 139:13-16 is not normally associated with marriage, it is a passage that can impact marriage in ways that bring glory and praise to God.

Through this 3-day study, we will learn how Psalm 139:13-16 can transform our marriage for the better. You will notice that the first day will be shorter than days two and three. After you have completed this Bible study yourself, you might find it helpful to go through this study with your spouse. It can help foster positive growth in your marriage and bring you closer together.

God’s Love Is at the Center of Marriage

The solid foundation of your marriage needs to be God. From Psalm 139:13-16, we are told that God knows our inmost being. This is true both for us and our spouses. When God created us, He created us out of His great love for us.

He sees our hearts and all our intentions. From the very start, God planned for you to meet your spouse. You would not be with your spouse today if it were not for God. Because of God’s grand working in the world and His plans for your life, He brought you together with your spouse (Jeremiah 29:11).

Your spouse is the person who knows you, loves you, and values everything you say. Think about how hard it would be without them. At the beginning, God created Eve for Adam because God saw it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). The same is true for the modern day—marriage is a covenant instituted by God, and it is a beautiful union between a man and a woman.

Challenge Questions:

● Is your marriage built upon God’s love? Why or why not?

● How can you give thanks to the Lord today for bringing you and your spouse together?

● By knowing marriage is a sacred covenant between two individuals, how does it change your view on the importance it holds in your life?

Dear God, I want my marriage to be built upon You. You are the reason I found my spouse. Please help me to ensure You are always at the center of my marriage. Bring my spouse and me closer to You every day. Thank You for blessing us with Your love, kindness, and peace. Amen.

Being Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

In addition to being fearfully and wonderfully made, a part of Psalm 139:13-16 says, “your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God’s works are wonderful, and you may see this when you look at your spouse. Your spouse is the person God has brought into your life, and they love you immeasurably. The love between a husband and a wife is unique among all other forms of love.

There is marriage love, friendship love, family love, and God’s unconditional love. All these types of love are beautiful and unique in their own way. However, one can see the difference between friendship love and marital love. It would be a disservice for someone to claim they love a friend more than their wife or husband.

Of course, God’s love is the strongest of loves because His love is unconditional (1 Corinthians 13:1-13). He loves us based on His own being—not by our own doing. The Bible tells us that when we were still sinners, God loved us (Romans 5:8). This shows us how much God loves and how His love has no bounds (Romans 8:37-39). It also shows us that God loves us so much that He has blessed us with a life partner—our spouse.

If you are a wife reading this, your husband is a constant companion, a source of comfort, and a protector. If you are a husband reading this, your wife is a source of comfort, a helper, and someone who ensures you always feel cared for. Both husbands and wives love each other deeply, and they are always there when the other needs them.

None of this would be possible without God. He brought you and your spouse together, and He has blessed your marriage. This doesn't mean that there is no work needed; marriage takes a lot of work, energy, and intention. However, it does mean that God has blessed you with a wonderful partner to spend your life with and to bring glory to Him through your marriage.

Challenge Questions:

● How can you see your spouse through the lens of Psalm 139:13-16?

● The love of a husband and a wife is stronger than a friendship type of love. How does this change the way you view your marriage? Does it make you want to be more intentional in your marriage?

● How can you help your spouse feel loved and cared for today?

Dear God, please help me to see my spouse through the lens of Psalm 139:13-16. I do not want to neglect the love and care of my spouse. Please help me to be intentional in my marriage. I want my spouse to know that I love and value them. Thank You, Father. Amen.

All Our Days Have Been Written in God’s Book

A last point to reflect on from Psalm 139:13-16 is when David says, “all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” All our days have already been written with love and tender care in God’s book. Part of these beautiful stories is where you met your spouse and entered into a marriage covenant with them.

God already knew that you and your spouse would be together from the beginning of time. How wonderful it is to know that God is the writer of your love story. When God wrote your love story, He didn't rush through. Rather, He took His time and ensured He would bring the right person into your life at the right time. Marriages don't happen by chance—the Lord has brought you and your spouse together.

Psalm 139:13-16 positively impacts marriages by pointing Christ followers to the love of God, the workmanship of God, and the beauty of the marriage covenant. The love of God is shown to us by the way He knit us together in our mother's womb out of a loving heart. In other words, He created us because He loves us.

Since we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we can be confident in ourselves. We don't need to feel negatively about ourselves anymore. We can accept our uniqueness and beauty because God created us this way. We don't need to look like the societal standards of beauty, and neither do our spouses. We are already beautiful just as we are.

Psalm 139:13-16 also points us to the beauty of our spouse and how wonderful it is to know that they are ours. After being married for many years or many decades, it can be hard to have the same excitement as you did when you first got married. The more we are around something beautiful, the more we start to become accustomed to it, and we don't recognize its beauty as much. Sadly, this is true for spouses. It is common to overlook their beauty since you are with them every day.

Utilize Psalm 139:13-16 to help you rediscover the beauty of your spouse. Take special notice of their eyes, their smile, or the embrace of their hug. A spouse is a partner and a best friend for life. Avoid taking them for granted. There will come a day when they will no longer be there. My mother passed away many years ago, and my dad hasn’t stopped missing her.

All her favorite clothes are still on her dresser, all her coats hung up, and all her things left exactly as she left them before going to the hospital. Cherish the time you have with your spouse and choose to love them with a fearless and wonderful love. God has brought you and your spouse together for a reason. You are the perfect match for each other. Rest in the beauty of knowing your love story has been written by God since the beginning of time.

Challenge Questions:

● How does it feel to know that God was always going to bring you and your spouse together?

● How does Psalm 139:13-16 help you to see the beautiful blessing that your spouse is yours? If the excitement has worn off over time, how can you regain the original spark you had when you first got married?

● Your spouse won’t be here forever. How can you cherish them today?

Dear Jesus, please help my spouse and I to allow Psalm 139:13-16 to impact our marriage in a positive way. I want our marriage to blossom and bloom, but this cannot happen apart from You. I trust You with my life and with my marriage. I give You all the praise, Lord. Amen.

Photo credit: ©Unsplash/Cassidy Rowell

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.